As we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family this weekend it led me to reflect on what family is all about and what we can learn from Mary, Joseph and Jesus.
Mary and Joseph were a couple planning their life together, I am sure they had dreams and plans for their life together and yet God intervenes and upsets their own plans to enable His plan for the whole of humanity to unfold through the messages of the angel to each of them.
Gabriel visits Mary and names her as the favoured one…this is not of her choosing…rather she has been chosen from the beginning of her own life…it has always been her destiny to be the Mother of Jesus…and it is by God’s grace that she says her few words…”Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord” This is her YES to God…her yes to motherhood…her yes to discipleship…it is also her yes to love and to sorrow…to joy and to pain…
Throughout the life of her son, Jesus, Mary is seen often, yet heard little…she listens intently… she ponders deeply all that is happening. When she does speak it is to assist her son in accepting and understanding who he is…and who he is for the world. In this we hear Mary scold him for going missing on the journey home when he is found in the temple among the scholars… we hear Mary at the wedding in Cana when she instructs the servants – Do whatever he tells you – pointing her son and others to his first miracle…to his life and his mission. It is never about her…it is always about Christ…always about his mission to bring the Good News to all people. When Simeon speaks of the pain she will endure at her son’s passion and death she is silent…she listens…she accepts and she ponders and cherishes it all in her heart. But in the midst of her listening…her few words…her pondering…she breathes out joy…joy for all to see…joy for us all to witness.
Joseph, a carpenter by trade faces a dilemma, Mary is expecting a child and it is not his child…he is alone…he has a choice to make – will he publicly divorce her or will he do it quietly – Joseph chooses the kind, quiet way, the way of compassion and mercy for Mary, sparing her public disgrace when the angel intervenes saying “take Mary home as your wife” and that he is to name the child “Jesus”. Joseph is entrusted with God’s greatest gift, his Son – to care for, to build a home for, to nurture and guide in his formative years.
One can see in this a crisis for the couple…how will they explain this to their families…how will their life now unfold…how will others react to this new situation…how will they cope… and yet Mary and Joseph accepted the disruption to their own plans to be available to realise God’s plan. It is Joseph who provides for…creates a home for…nurtures…teaches and most of all loves Jesus as his own child as he grows and matures…and then when Jesus reaches the age of about 12 we do not see Joseph again…Mary continues to accompany her son through to adulthood and Joseph disappears from the narrative…his role in our history is complete.
When I think about Joseph…I see compassion…care…kindness…and love for Mary and Jesus…he was there with them for all the time he needed to be – perhaps this is the same in our families sometimes – we are in the right place, at the right time for as long as we need to be to offer the love, the compassion, the kindness, the nurturing that is needed by another to give them the roots they need for their life.
Mary and Joseph together give Jesus the roots he needs in their family – they teach him, nurture him to adulthood…point him to who he is to be for all of humanity – they give him roots and when his time comes they give him the courage and trust to take his wings and fly…to become who God has sent him to be for all people.
In our own families we are blessed when we too are given roots to know who we are…to know love…compassion…trust…faith… and then the courage to open our wings to fly and to become the best version of ourselves as God created us to be…
Karen OSU